Old Habits

I'm tired. I'm tired physically, mentally and emotionally. I wish that I could just crawl into a hole and sleep for a few days. A big part of me would like to talk about my feelings, but caution should be used on the World Wide Web. They are dark and frustrated and will be much less strong when I'm feeling more rested. Time is a great healer and in few days, I'll be my own self again. And no, they're not about what some might think...there's more to my life than interfering in someone else's life. That situation's been resolved and I'm at peace about it...as, I believe, are they.

So, I thought that this blog, being about weight loss, should show my low times as well as my high times. I posted earlier today about reading and how everything else gets left at the roadside when I become engulfed in a story. Well, I'm beginning to understand why I looked the way I did in high school...fat. My plan today was to get some exercise today while my little ones were napping. Well, my 2 yr old didn't wanna nap...and I don't like to go on the treadmill when he's awake...doesn't seem safe. So, I thought I'd pull out my hour long Pilate's video that I've been meaning to do and see how well I've progressed on my core strength. But then it happened...I saw my book. "Well, I'll just read one chapter maybe". An hour later, I was still on my but. Then it was too close to the time baby was supposed to wake up, so I may as well keep reading til she wakes up, right? And while I was reading, I managed to eat 10 points worth of cheap, waxy chocolate...that I didn't even enjoy. Sigh. Wouldn't be so bad, except I only had 9 points left for the day. So, now I'm down to -1 points and it's only 4pm. I have some low point, low sodium soup downstairs in my freezer, so I'll eat that for supper and I'm not too concerned. But it's interesting how one old habit can somehow influence my behaviour.

I fought with myself for a bit with that old, self destructive thought that I've blown it now...I may was well really blow it. But I won't. I've made myself a cup of "Moose Munch" coffee from Harry and David's. Yum. No points, lots of flavour. Hopefully the caffeine'll give me a push of energy...or at least I won't feel quite so tired. I may or may not do some AP's tonight. I'm really not in the mood for trying to make up for my moment of weakness. But I do have a tight back, which would likely be helped by some physical activity.

My kid's are watching Car's right now. And my baby's little toy piano is broken and I can't get it open...hopefully my husband can fix it when he gets home. Overtime is a great thing to keep our budget balanced...but I miss him today. I wish he was here.