Cranky

I'm cranky today. Plain old cantankerous and cranky. Cranky. I'm glad I'm not my kids today.

Everything is just slightly annoying. Everything just rubs me a little bit the wrong way. I'm in one of those moods where I can find something wrong with everything. I actually gagged at something sweet on TV last night. It's all annoying...all of it. Just annoying.

So, what's my rant of choice for today? Candy. Yup, you heard me. Easter candy. Partially because I can't seem to keep my mouth shut around it. I'm down to 5 flex points for the rest of the week. And that's after earning 3 AP's yesterday too (which I'm proud of). But I suppose that I should be proud that I have any flex left at all, since there's still some chocolate left in my basket.

But mostly, I'm cranky about all the candy the kids have. Between the candy that was sent home from other parents at school (what's with that???), candy sent to us, and candy we just HAD to buy for them...we have way too much. (We even showed a lot of restrain shopping this year. We did. We bought small, hollow bunnies for all of us and didn't buy the big bags of anything. We even exchanged bags we'd picked up when we saw the smaller ones. And, we bought a set of play-doh eggs. 20 of them...so the baskets were mainly filled with play-doh and accessories.) I actually tossed and turned in bed thinking about it last night. I don't want to ruin things by taking it all away, but I need to find a healthy balance.

You see, my kids are just like I was as a kid. Not fat, but on the heavy side. I started to notice I was a bit different in grade 1. By grade 3, I was comparing my unshapely legs...stumps really...with the other girls. I hated it. Maybe it'll be different for my boys, being boys and all. But starting out just a little bigger than everyone else did not help me as I grew older and with self control or physical activity. By grade 8, I was obese and have only spent a few years here and there outside of that category since. Feeding Finleigh is a whole different story that I won't even get in to...though I'm frustrated with that too.

And, especially Will, is just like I was as it comes to physical activity too. When I send them outside into the backyard, Will basically stands outside the window and waits until I'll let him back in. No joke. He loves the playground and now that it's warming up, we're going more. But in the summer, it's a wasp haven due to all the careless teens who like to go to the adjacent corner store, get their slurpees or whatever and then just drop them on the ground...unfinished. See, I told you I was cranky.

I remember around age 10, just wanting to sit inside and watch TV and read. We had a huge, gorgeous backyard with a playhouse, swing set etc. My brother had just gotten his adenoids out, I think? He was running around like I crazy kid, in and out and in and out and should have been resting. Me? Sitting on my butt. That's me. That's my son. I do have him registered for soccer this summer and am really trying.

We had fruit for snack this morning. Canned mandarin oranges (that I opened for Easter dinner salad and never used) and sliced bananas. That went over well. We have 2 bowls of mandarin oranges sitting on the table...uneaten. Well, it won't kill them to go hungry anyways and they did eat the bananas. Nate won't eat any raw veggies. I could go on, but I won't. It's frustrating having stuff in the fridge that I'll have to eat for the next week until it's disgusting because no one else will eat it. Or it gets thrown out. Yes...I'm grouchy.

I feel like I'm fighting a losing battle.

The Easter baskets will only be coming down once today. And it won't be a free for all.

So that's me. An ex-obese mom trying to keep my kids from the same fate. And cranky.