Friday, September 5, 2008


I haven't had a true OP (on plan) day in I don't know how long. It's a tad frustrating because when I was doing well, I wouldn't wake up in the morning and wonder if I'd stay OP today. No, in fact it was a given. There would be no question that I'd eat what and how much I should. I just did it and that was that. And on Mondays I'd step on the scale and know my weight would be lower. It was just a matter of by how much.

Now it's a daily struggle that I'm mostly losing. For the most part it's only a couple points here and there...but it's not gonna get these last few pounds off.

When I think of it, I shouldn't be so surprised. I do this all the time. I go 80% of the way and then stop. Not sure if it's because I get lazy or what, but I get to where it's "good enough" and then I stop. I do good, but not great. The story of my life.

So I need to ask myself what I really want. I'm comfortable at this weight. I'm reasonably happy in my clothes and I don't feel like a big blob anymore when I walk into a room. On the other hand, I'm still technically overweight and I hate my body in a bathing suit or *eek* naked. And if I stop paying attention now...I could very well gain much of the fat back.

I love the WW's concept of looking at calorie consumption over a week. You've got your daily minimum and then you weekly points. Love me so much freedom. However, when I go over my weekly points during the week, I feel like giving up for the week. Ah, I'll start over on Monday. You and I both know that's not exactly good weight loss behaviour, so I've been restarting my attitude each and every day. Plugging along and trying not to get out of control and undo all that I've accomplished in this past year.

Lifestyle, lifestyle, lifestyle...

I'm amazed at how much of my identity is wrapped up in food. Why??? It's silly, really. Somehow I feel like myself when I'm chowing down. I feel full, I feel comforted and then I feel guilty.

I want to feel like myself when I'm saying no to food and only feel satisfied...not stuffed.

This is going to be a long road...I'm by no means there yet.


  1. i struggle the same way!!! I wish i had as many months of OP as you do under my belt. I have yet to stay that focused for that long. you should be proud of yourself!

    Now, get yourself OP and keep shrinking!!!! I NEED to see that others are being helps me remember to stay OP! What is your next mini goal???

  2. this is the toughest stretch of the journey i'm told honey..hold on tight..go back to basics to try and refresh your enthusiasm!!

    measure, count, journal everything. If you have to "start over" cuz you "went over" start over THAT HOUR, not the next day, week know what you have to do!!

    it might also be time to consider a new way to spend your time? With the kids i know its hard, but maybe a new hobby? craft? baking? (ok maybe not baking lol) yoga? self defence? Something else to "throw yourself into" cuz you know you can do anything now!!!

    i know i know alot of big talk from *moi* who has started over yet again..but i hope it helps:)

  3. When I read your posts like this one, I feel like it could have been me who wrote them! It totally amazes me.
    We need to remember that the main purpose of this weight loss (at least as I see it) is that it becomes a permanent lifestyle. We are food addicts, and as an alcoholic will struggle for the rest of his or her life, so we will with food. And that's just the way it is. And so, I think that as long as we have more good days than bad, we are doing well. Ideally, we'd stay OP all the time and lose the rest quickly, but at the very least we just need to keep on going.
    I think that's the difference between me and my friend who recently joined WW (after me), then lost her weight super fast and reached lifetime in a breeze... she's not necessarily a foodaholic who is trying to change her life - she's just trying to lose the pounds. And there is a difference.
    You've done awesomely, my dear. Keep it up!