Well, overall I'd say that yesterday was a success. I was OP with a couple flex points! Yippee! And it wasn't that bad.
I feel like I'm two different people. I'm the girl who loves food and can happily munch away all day, everyday and feel like herself. Food is like a companion for me. A comfort. And when food becomes that important and when one's body is overfull, exercise becomes not only difficult but uncomfortable as well. I am a size 2x.
I am also, however, the girl who is balanced and can listen to her body. I love to exercise and love how I feel when I've had a good workout. I like feeling my quads. I love not feeling full and lethargic all the time. I am a size medium.
So, then why oh why can I not just be girl #2 all the time??? Why is it so darned easy to slip back into the old habits? How does one gain almost 20 pounds in less than 2 months??? And go up a clothing size.
But I suppose it's also just life. Since my resting point seems to equal weight gain and laziness, I don't have the option of resting. Not for the next while anyways. I keep hoping that this whole moderation thing will just stick and I'll magically become naturally moderate, but if I'm honest with myself...that likely won't happen.
The last time I got down to about this weight was before I had kids. I was down to probably the low 170's, then I gained a few. Then I decided that I must lose 20 pounds...which I never did...I think I gained more...then I got pregnant...during which time I gained 70 pounds...then I spent the next 5 years bouncing around between 220 and 270.
My current situation seems eerily familiar. So close to goal and needing to lose 20 or so. Except this time I will NOT get pregnant. I feel the need to approach things differently this time. So I've been working on remaining calm and not panicking that I will end up back in the 200's. It's not a race and so I will simply continue to pace myself and focus on being healthy. And COUNT. And exercise. My goal will be about a pound per week and I'll start keeping track on the blog next week.
If I don't try to lose...two things will happen. First, I won't fit into any of my clothes that I love. Second, I'll probably gain more.
So, here we go again!
p.s. Guess who set the table this morning at breakfast with only a tiny bit of complaining! hint: it wasn't me!