Saturday, August 28, 2010

I've been told

I don't talk about my kids "issues" much to people I don't know well - unless, of course, they read my blog.  It just doesn't usually pay off.  They don't understand or they treat you differently.

Or they don't understand.

Did I mention that they don't understand?

Like yesterday, when I was getting my hair cut by my hair dresser that I've been going to for at least 2 years now.  It was the first time since I've been going to her that I mentioned anything about my kids' school struggles - since as you all know I'm feeling a little nervous about the beginning of the year.

I wish I'd kept my mouth shut because she made me feel pretty dumb about sharing that things are difficult by downplaying my problems and upplaying everyone else's.

I made a comment about how much I hear from the teacher about behaviour, to which she replied that probably lots of parents hear about behaviour, I just don't know about it.  Like her, she always got into trouble when she was in school for talking too much.  AND she found school boring too.

Which I know is right.  I mean, I don't know how the other kids behave and how much their parents have to deal with principals and emails and such.  And I know that the more typical kids have behavioural problems too.  And of course, all kids find school boring at some point.

BUT, those kids don't need to have the programs changed for them.  That's what I should have said, instead of changing the subject.  I have 2 children that need their teachers to make significant changes to their lesson plans.  Last year, Finleigh didn't even get a real report card because she couldn't do ANYTHING on the report card the other kids got.  And most kids don't have to go to counselors or see PT/OT/SLP weekly or have full time aids.  Most parents don't have to attend IPP meetings either.

And no, there's no such thing as "normal" or "easy" when it comes to parenting.  But there is "more typical" and "easier".  Most people who know me well will readily admit that.  I've gotten enough "I don't know how you do it" comments to believe that.  And I'm fully aware that I have it easier that some other parents out there too.

I'm not self pitying cuz I know things aren't that bad... I'm just saying.  Our issues are not the same!

So, I'll take my cue and shut up about my kids challenges, cuz I don't like feeling like a complainer (or being one for that matter).  

Except here.  I may continue to complain here.


  1. Share it ALL here because we do understand! This has happened so many times to me that I have also stopped talking to them about it. It even happened today with my neighbor.

    What hurts the most, for me, is when I get that from family. They should be the ones who open their eyes so that they can understand. They should be the ones to offer support and compassion.

    Also, I don't see it as complaining. I see it as reaching out for some compassion and be made to feel like we are complaining.

  2. you are NOT a complainer, far from it!

    Your kids are amazing, challenging, and so unique. And you are an awesome mom!


  3. I definitely 'get' you as well. and the family thing too from the other comment.
    just keep writing it all here :)