Peace

SMASH

I was cleaning up the coffee that Finleigh had dumped over on the kitchen counter when I heard a smash behind me. My dear, sweet daughter had grabbed a glass off the counter and thrown it to the ground.

Glass shards everywhere.

"Don't move!" I all but yelled. I picked her up and sat her on the counter just beside the wet spot where the coffee had been moments ago. I grabbed a cloth and wiped off the remains of breakfast from her face, hands and clothes. The whole getting dressed before breakfast thing has been helpful to our mornings, but she could often use a change of clothes before we leave for school. Of course, we don't change her clothes, that would cause chaos. So she goes to school with wet spots where food (hopefully) once was or with the food still on the clothes, depending on how the morning went.

I grabbed her  and carried her under my arm as I gingerly stepped over the glass mess. I was thankful I'd decided to put my slippers on this morning, they would protect my feet.

We were leaving the house NOW. It was 5 minutes early, but I didn't care. We needed to get out of the house. The glass would be there when I got back.

It had been quite a morning. She got dressed on her own with only a bit of push back. Maybe 10 minutes or so. And I had already cleaned up dumped cereal twice. Once dry and once full of milk and all over her iPod. I had managed to stop her as she dove for the coffee cup the first time, but the second time, she waited until my back was turned.

My husband was supposed to be home this morning, but we drove over something yesterday, resulting in a flat tire, so he was downtown getting the tire fixed. He still is, actually. The glass is now all cleaned up. My house is quiet. My kids at school. Time limitations for the commitments I've made weighing heavily on my mind. But still, I decide to blog. Perhaps clear my head. Enjoy the peace.

Oh how I long for those mornings when I could wake up to silence or even just a quiet murmur. And get out of bed in my own time. Eat breakfast in peace… or at all. Get dressed. Have a shower! What a luxury, to have a shower in the morning before leaving the house. I didn't mind it so much when the kids were little. That's what you expect. Toddlers and young children need mom and dad's extensive attention. But we should be done with all that now. I should be able to have a shower without wondering what is being destroyed in my house while I do. After all, this morning, a glass was broken not two feet away from me. Just think what she would do if I hadn't been in the room.

And that is about all I have to say today. My wish for peace. Not just stolen moments of peace (which, of course, I savour and love and am deeply grateful for), but a life of peace. That life that I once had but will not have for a very long time to come.