Something to say

Do you ever have trouble getting ideas out of your head? Some might call it writer's block. But I'm not a writer. Not really. 

No. 

Still, I have these thoughts. They rattle around in my brain. I can see them. I can feel them. I can almost... almost... form them into words. And yet, I can't.

And so a running dialogue runs through my head. (While I'm doing house work. When I go for walks. As I drive somewhere.) With glimpses of clarity. A sentence or two that flitters away before I can write it down. Not that it matters anyway, because that sentence is not a fully fleshed out thought. As soon as I think of that thought, five other thoughts rush into my brain, making my first thought useless. Obsolete. Ridiculous. And not at all full of the brilliance that I wish my thoughts contained.

So, I have something to say. It's why I maintain this blog. But often, those things I have to say are negative. So I stopped writing. I stopped because I was tired of bringing everyone into my negative. And if I wrote positive, it felt fake and inauthentic. Forced even.

It is perhaps why some create art. It's why I feel compelled to create. And there are those that are lucky enough to be able to convey their thoughts and feelings in a medium. Any medium. Music. Dance. Painting. Photography. Writing. Or whatever it is that fulfills that need.

And then there are those that are frustrated. Stuck with those intangible thoughts swimming around in their brain, wishing to come out. But can't. Stuck somewhere before they become fully formed...