Wednesday, February 27, 2008

I'm Back

Actually, I've been back since yesterday. But, I've also been competing for computer time. I love it when my husband's home, but between him and my son, I'm having a hard time getting on here. So, I had a very clever blog entry composed in my head this afternoon, but now we'll all have to settle for my late night ramblings.

And, since I was coming off a 4 day eating fest...full of unbridled consumption of all things sugary and a few things fattening...I'll be honest and tell you that I really did not feel like posting.

So this is what I did. On Friday night, I lost a little bit of control. I probably finished my flex for the week...which, as I mentioned in my last post, I was saving for the weekend. Not real sure why I did it...but I did. So, on to Saturday...I decided that since I wouldn't be home to weigh in on Monday anyways, I'd borrow my points from the next week. Which quickly turned into an excuse not to count. At all. For 4 days. Now, here I sit, 4 pounds heavier as of this morning and not really sure how much I did eat. But, I was OP today. Completely. And thankfully, it wasn't nearly as hard as I'd thought to get back on track. It was actually a relief. No more flex for me this week.

But I did learn that my sister triggers a lot of bad eating habits. My beautiful, loving, wonderful sister and her equally fine husband just moved to the big we now have a place to stay for free when we go for Finny's appt's. And they have a lovely, new house (which I'm trying real hard not to covet). Anyways, we spent the weekend kind of co-celebrating our birthdays as her's was 2 weeks ago and mine is in 2 weeks (I'm 23 months older than her). Worked perfect. I made a crazy, rich mocha cake for her. She had tonnes of yummy stuff, including these incredible choc. chip cookies. And then there was Starbucks. Sigh. We took her out to Applebee's and I was incredibly irresponsible and didn't check out the nutritional info before we left and then didn't even try to be healthy while we were there. Her and I bonded a lot over food when we were teens. Things are changing now...but I've still got a lot of work to do in that area. 6 months worth of monthly trips to the city, eating all my meals at restaurants and I lost weight on every trip. Now, I go to my sisters...which in theory should be easier...but its just not.

Absolutely NOT complaining about her. She really tried this time to serve good, healthy food...and she did. And it tasted awesome. I just didn't feel like trying this weekend. So I didn't. Now I will pay.

I love my sister. She's my best friend.

In other news...there's no news about Finleigh. Same old stuff. Waste of a trip. But I suppose its better than being completely forgotten. Though that's what it felt like when we were waiting to see our ENT (ear, nose, throat doc). I think they got the charts mixed up because we waited for over an hour and watched several other families who arrived after us go in before us. Not impressed. Then, when we went in were told, oh, nothing's changed? Great. Come see us when you know what the MRI said...or at the very least in 4 months. As a back up appointment. Cool.

On the plus side, I was told that Finn's eating better by the feeding specialist...though still not nearly better enough to do fluids. And the fact that her development is behind across the board is better than if it was sporadic. So, that was encouraging, I guess.

Then, today I headed down to the hospital to get some blood work done for Finleigh...for genetic testing. I knew it would not be a lot of fun, because they seem to have a hard time getting blood out of her veins. However, I was not prepared for what ensued. For some reason, they started us out with the newbie. (This happened last time too. They started with one person, who couldn't get it...they called in the next person...couldn't get it. Called in the last person...finally something). The newbie couldn't even feel a vein. I suggested maybe I feed her first and then we try again since it was about time for her to eat? Sounds good...maybe she's a bit dehydrated. So I fed her with lots of curious glances as to what is this crazy girl (or poor unfortunate girl) doing with the yellow tube in that poor baby's nose and the syringe full of white stuff? Then, as we were waiting to be called back in, Finleigh threw up the entire feed all over herself and the floor. Luckily the floor was lino, so no harm there. Also luckily, only one of my shirt sleeves got hit. But unluckily, I'd neglected to bring a change of clothes for her. I thought about it and figured I wouldn't need it. So, we were called back in - stinky, wet clothes and all - to more seasoned techs who could at least find the vein. And they pricked. And they dug. And Finleigh cried and cried. And I was a stoic rock, comforting my baby. And they got less than a ml out. They needed 4. And home we came...hoping for better luck next time. Not sure when we'll get down, because Brian's back to work tomorrow and school's out this week and there's no way I'm taking Willem there. It'll traumatize him. So, I guess I'll have to wait for next week. The results will take another 6 weeks after that. I'm tired of waiting.

After that ordeal...I was useless for several hours. I was strong during it...but it was really hard. And all for nothing. Good news though...Finleigh didn't throw up again that day. And I didn't emotionally eat.

Well, those are the happenings from the last few days. Perhaps tomorrow I'll have time to share my thoughts. Or some pictures. Or something else that may be at least vaguely interesting to a few of you out there or myself.


  1. :o) I started to leave a comment here and it was just getting too long, so its now going to be in your facebook inbox!

  2. welcome back. I'm glad you had fun with your sister. And I'm sorry you had a tough time with Finny's apts. That stinks.

    I fully plan on eating a LOT tonight. I am all about emotional eating.