Baby Steps

Well, it's been a productive couple of weeks for our little Finleigh. She said her first word. She waved bye-bye. Her second tooth came through yesterday.

She's getting ever so strong. She can sit on her own for a long time now. When she's ready to lie down, she's getting much better at not bonking her noggin. I've been working with her on the transition from lying to sitting, both ways. She's definitely getting there. And you should see her hold things now...a far cry from a few months ago.

I've got her down to 4 tube feeds a day instead of 5. It's nice to only have to insert that tube 4 times a day instead of 5. She's eating solids ever so much better lately. She hardly needs her soother at all anymore to help her clear her airway. She can handle an entire Mum-mum on her own now. She used to choke on those. She's doing well with Arrowroot cookies too...though I still break those up for her. She's eating a lot of table food now (seeing as she hates purees). Now we just need to get her drinking fluids without inhaling them.

I've never been much of a worry type mom. I've always figured that they'd do things when they're ready. I'm also of the desire to embrace my children as they are and while I want them to be the best them they can be...I want them to be THEM and to feel loved.

But, this journey with Finleigh has been a little scary at times. We still don't know if there is any kind of brain damage in her little head. The MRI is in 21 days. Hopefully we'll have answers within a few weeks after that. Genetic testing results should come in around that time too. But, I feel much better after a good week like this. I feel hopeful that she'll be off this tube one day (and we won't need surgery to have one put directly into her tummy). I feel hopeful that she will be able to be normal (whatever that is). Every milestone she hits is a huge relief for me. The worried looks I've seen from health professionals fade a little and I think that she'll be okay. That's why I get so excited with every milestone. It's not about her being on time...it's about her being able to do these things at all.

It's a good lesson. Patience. Baby steps. Seems to me life is a lot about little steps.

A year of baby steps for a baby takes them from helpless to walking and talking and a whole personality. A year of baby steps for me in weight loss will mean almost 100 lbs lost and going from struggling to walk up a couple flights of stairs to running 5 km (because I WILL do it). A year of baby steps could mean a new relationship with a friend or lover. Learning to read. Finally being potty trained!

God has been faithful this past year. And he continues to be faithful everyday. I will not give up hope, but will continue to take my baby steps each and everyday.