Cookies

I was doing really good this week.  I'd been counting and was within my points and was exercising everyday.  Then the other day hit, and we all know what kind of day I was having that day.  So, my resolve slipped a bit.  We had nothing sweet in the house and I was thinking it would be nice for the 'kids' to have some cookies.  I had a mix I'd been given for Christmas and thought I'd make it up with some Valentine's sprinkles on top.

Me and cookies.  I really should ban them from my house.  But what kinda mom would I be if I didn't let my kids eat cookies for the rest of their childhood?  As a teenager, my parents didn't keep a lot of junk food in the house, but they always had the ingredients to make cookies.  And so, when I had a sweet craving and was bored or avoiding my homework, I would bake a batch of cookies - eating half the batter and a generous portion of cookies along the way.

The cookie mix made 24 cookies.  The kids and I managed to polish them all off that afternoon - and the kids didn't really over indulge.  I would laugh it off, except that 2 weeks ago in my fervor to get tempting food out of the house I saw some chocolate chunks in the cupboard and thought: "If I make these into cookies, I won't eat them this evening."  Which technically is true, I didn't finish them that evening and I did share some of the cookies.

Sigh.

It's not really about the weight.  Really and honestly, I'm pretty comfortable with myself right now.  Of course I want to be thinner, but I'm okay with where I'm at.  The issue, I've decided, is control.  I feel like so many parts of my life are out of control.  I struggle to control my kids.  I can't seem to control my health.  At the very least, it would be nice if I could control what I put into that big hole in my face that I call my mouth.

Controlling myself may be helpful to my marriage too.  My husband found some evidence that cookies were made and then consumed and was very disappointed to find there were none left for him.  Sorry hon. Next time I'll make a bigger batch.