Friday, February 11, 2011


My weight is slowly creeping up.  I dislike this strongly but not enough to do something about it.  Which is not cool.

I'm still at the point where I'm not feeling too, too big... but I'm getting there.  And it leaves me wondering, WHY?

Why am I eating?  Why am I throwing away all the work I did to get my weight down?  Why don't I care?

But mostly, why am I eating?????

I have no clue, friends, but I think it would behoove me to figure it out.

I like that word, behoove.  It's funny.

I've been throwing around the idea in my head for a while now of talking more about my food issues again on this blog.  Not about necessarily the weekly weight ins that I used to do, but just more about why I can't seem to make that permanent change.  Why I haven't been able to say no when a craving hits.  Not that I'm committing yet... that would be crazy.  I've been up since 5 am with my daughter who is cranky (as one might imagine) and am perhaps not thinking quite straight.

There it is... I'm putting it out there.  You can't see me from where you sit so I can pretend that I'm doing awesome... but I'm not.  So now you know and maybe now I'll stop being in denial.


  1. your comments are closed or something on the Relaxed? post so first let me say I am so sorry you all had/have strep!! Not fun!! And second if you haven't already your book club should totally read Room by Emma Donaghue. Seriously amazing book.

    now to this post... I've got no answers... I just don't care anymore about my weight because I have far too many other crappy things to care about!


    love you!

  2. OMG, these are my words too. Sorry, I can't offer any advice because I'm stuck and in a rut and can't get out. To top it off my SIL lost 25 lbs before Christmas and that is all I have heard about since.

  3. Hey! I've been thinking about you a lot lately and wishing more than ever that we could just hang out. Sigh. Its good to know you're alive but not good to hear about the strep, etc - that is so NOT fun. :S
    As far as the weight goes - I hear ya. I'm currently having my 3rd day in a row of eating right for the first time in a looooonnggg time. It took me like 2 months just to get my brain to the place where I could even think about trying again. And in the mean time, the weight kept creeping up, up, up. UGH.
    Anyway, hugs to you. You know you'll always have a sympatheic "ear" in me if you need to vent. Take care, and I hope you all are feeling better soon!
    Oh, and p.s.? I love the idea of using this blog as a place to process weight issues - I think thats probably what I need. Rather than having a weight loss blog that I ignore when I'm doing poorly and only post on when I'm on track. :S