Saturday, June 29, 2013

The dance

And thus comes the dance. The dance of sanity. The dance of priorities. When my beautiful daughter that needs almost constant supervision and attention falls asleep.

Conflicting feelings wash over me as I see her peacefully resting. Deep relief. Sadness. Guilt.

I wonder, should I keep her awake? Would it help her sleep better at night? It never has in the past, but maybe this time? I hear stories of those families who have had success with restricting nap time. Perhaps she's old enough now?

But, I need this time. So much to do. With school deadlines having come and past while I get my head around things, I am behind, and homework just does not happen when Finleigh is in my care. My house is dirty. My body is in bad need of both exercise and sleep.

So what should I do? Work or rest? Or perhaps spend some quality time with my boys who so often are overlooked.

That is my daily quandary. I just don't know.

Here's a taste of what can happen when I am not hovering over her at every step. A full and unopened jug of milk was thrown onto the floor this morning when her mood suddenly turned. I was still upstairs dragging my sorry butt out of bed.

This is day two of summer vacation for us. The summer looms long ahead of me.

But for now, I will take advantage of these few quiet moments, close up my computer and get to reading about women in sociology. That should be fun.


  1. hi Amanda...I found you through jane. I could not read your post and not say hi. I hope you day got a little better for you. I don't know a lot about SMS but I do know a lot about ASD. my darling 7 yr old boy Charlie is on the spectrum and I too have described my days just like you have. Just keep on dancing honey...sometimes that's all we can do....and keep on blogging...cause im listening. Al x

    1. Thanks Allison! The day did get better. Our days can be crazy, that is for sure.