Tuesday, October 28, 2014
What is it like to live a well rested life, I wonder? I know I'm not alone in this. I know that there are many others that live in perpetual exhaustion. In fact, I've heard that this is a major problem in Western Countries. Perpetual exhaustion. Overextending ourselves. Being tired.
I can't say that I've ever really been a well rested person. Between staying up late - sometimes by choice and sometimes because my brain won't turn off. And then often overcommitting myself to many activities at a time. I was not a person that got a lot of sleep. But, I got to sleep-in on the weekends. Or take a nap. That would make up for things and I would carry on.
Then I had kids and sleep deprivation took on a whole new meaning. It's one thing to be awake and tired at night and be able to veg. Another thing completely when you are responsible for another little person in the middle of the night. Whipping out a boob or a bottle. Pacing the floors, bouncing as you go. Functioning as though it was totally normal that you were awake and functional at 3am.
Then came Finleigh and SMS and a level of craziness that no human should have to endure. And 7 years on I now live with a combination of my crappy sleeping habits that often keep me unwillingly awake at night, and a 7 year old that may or may not wake up 4 times per night. Or may or may not come and sleep horizontally in my bed. Or may or may not be awake for the day at 5 am. And then there's my low iron, that despite the iron pills, still hovers much lower than it should... adding to the exhaustion.
That physical exhaustion coupled with the emotional exhaustion and psychological fight with hopelessness leaves me typing a blog post with my eyes mostly closed at 10:14 in the morning. Downing coffee and carbs to stay awake. Wishing to go back to sleep, but knowing that I have much to do. I often succumb to the tiredness and sleep in the day, but that finds me behind. And my house in disarray.
I may just be mildly frustrated right now.
And tired. Oh. So. Tired.
So I repeat. What must it be like to live a rested life?