Monday, April 28, 2008

Taking Stock

Okay. WI this morning. I'm up 0.6 lbs. No surprise there. I deserved the gain. I really did.

So, I think since this is my first time gaining 2 weeks in a row, it's time to take stock of what I'm doing.

I've managed to have a net gain of 0.3 lbs for April. Given that I haven't stayed OP much this month, that's actually not too bad. And I'm still in the 170's, barely. Even with the weight gain, I have lost 1/2 inch on both my bust and hips and a full inch on my waist. I guess that's why my "skinny" jeans are fitting better. I can also now run for 20 minutes straight. No walking breaks. That's a huge accomplishment for me.

Overall, not such a bad month...but if I can't get this eating under control, I have no hope of losing any more weight or even keeping it off.

I've hit a wall (not a plateau because that would infer that I'm doing everything right...which I'm not). I've been thinking about this wall for a couple days and I'll share what I've been mulling around in my brain.

First, 25 points has been tough for me to stick to. I think it's a mental thing. In my head, there's a certain amount I should be eating, so that's what I do. That makes it difficult for me to stay on track when my points don't match up with that. I've also found myself taking seconds lately which is silly because that takes away from the treats that I've depended on throughout this process. I've been at this 10 months now, almost to the day. And just this last month or so, it's been feeling like a diet (I've said that before). I think it's time for another mental reset. Time to start approaching food differently again.

Second, things with Finny are really starting to get to me. My patience is running out. I still don't know why she's having the difficulties she is or how/if we'll be able to fix them. So, lately I've been turning to food for a little bit of comfort. Gotta stop that. I had the points for a little bit of emotional eating before...but I don't anymore. So, I'm gonna hafta concentrate on finding other avenues. Running worked really well for me the other's just finding the time to do it that can be challenging.

Third, I'm the smallest I've been in my adult life. I don't feel like it because of all the stretched out skin from 3 pregnancies, but I am. The clothes that I kept prove it. It's easy to become complacent. It's easy to feel like I've already made it and that I can go back to my old ways. But I CANNOT - ever. Quitting is not an option and if I stop counting now, that's what I'll be doing. I am still 25 pounds over my ideal zone, so I'm not done yet. This is likely my hardest hurdle right now. I've hit this twice before. Once when I'd lost my 10%, because it was the weight that my body seems to rest at (if that makes sense). And then, crossing into onederland. I got over both of those, I can and will get over this one too.

Alright, hopefully all this positive self talk and self reflection will get me back on track. Here's to an OP May.


  1. i think i needed your speech too! i am excited to weigh-in tomorrow morning. we will see.... i really hope for my 'self talk' that it is a good week on the scale! i still need to do my measurements...thanks for the reminder!

  2. Thanks for your saying Quiting is not an option. I needed that. I have to say how proud I am of you with all you have been going through! You are a great sister in law.

  3. oh honey... I think you are doing amazing!