Thursday, October 16, 2008


Sleep is SO important.

I've not been sleeping well the last week or so and it's beginning to show. Why am I not sleeping well? I'm not sure, but I don't like it. I spent much of my adolescence and early adult years unable to fall asleep easily...maybe that's why I took up reading. But I hate that feeling of tossing and turning in bed. And once it starts again...I hesitate to go to bed because I don't want to toss and turn. So I stay up late, even though I'm tired. Pfft. And then, last night, there was some drunken rowdiness in the place beside which we share a wall. Beauty. Which woke me up and I could not fall back asleep. Until 5am. Yup. Thankfully, it sounds like those guys are going to be kicked out of the place...which makes me very, very happy.

I feel like that undisciplined 20 year old that I used to be. Tired all the time. Not wanting to do much except sit in front of the TV and eat. When I'm tired, my motivation drops. I don't want to do stuff around the house, so that discourages me and I feel like I'm not accomplishing anything and the house feels gross and I want to eat. I feel hungry when I'm tired and since I don't have the motivation or energy to say no...what do I do? Eat unnecessarily. Plus, I'm not real patient with the kids...which makes me want to eat. And the meals I cook aren't as healthy...thus bad point consumption. And there's nothing that can convince me to no AP's. And my eyes are too sore to wear contacts, so I wear these 7 year old glasses that fall apart and make me feel ugly and dowdy. And feeling ugly makes me want to eat. It's a terrible cycle that I can't let myself get back into.

Amazing how important my sleep has become to me. And how important it is as a foundation for making positive and healthy lifestyle choices.

Hopefully tonight I'll sleep.

A lot.


  1. agh! i am the same way!!! one bad thing leads to another.

    when i go through spurts of nonsleeping i take an over the counter sleep aid when my kids go to bed so that it is kicking in good an hour or so later so that i can get a good night's sleep.

  2. poor sweetie!!! i hope you get good sleep soon!!


  3. hang in there Manda. You'll catch up!
    I love that you are so willing to share how your are doing - even in pictures.

  4. I hate not being able to sleep. I suffer from insomnia from time to time and it is so frustrating. My problem is that I can fall asleep and then my brain kicks in and starts thinking about all of the things I need to do. This makes the eyes pop open and the rest is down hill from there. I hope you get some sleep soon.

  5. oh I have been there.... I KNOW the feeling.... I wish you sweet dreams tonight.... *hugs*