It's Monday and we ran late all morning. We were lucky to make it to school on time and my kitchen still has half of the breakfast mess left to be cleaned up. But, I'm happy to announce that I got 8 hours of sleep last night. I could have easily fallen back asleep this morning and I don't remember hitting the snooze button on my alarm clock the 3 times before I was actually conscious, but I did get 8 hours and for that I'm happy.
Now for the great, exciting news that I just KNOW you were all waiting to hear...my WI.
I was down 0.3 this morning and I'm glad for it. In my hard core weight loss days, this would have been pretty disappointing...but my focus has changed a bit now. When I started a year and a half ago, I had 100 pounds to lose. 100! It was daunting and given my many previous attempts, I knew if I did it on my own I'd only lose 30 pounds or so before I lost focus and either stayed where I was or gained it back. I knew this time had to be different so that I could get past the 220's and then the 200's. And it worked using WW's. Focus and dedication to staying on the program showed me great results and proved a great way to distract me from all the medical issues we were facing with Miss Finn.
Now it's a little bit different. I have 20-ish pounds to lose...30-ish if I feel REALLY ambitious (but I know that's likely not a weight I'll ever be able to maintain) and I'm pretty happy where I am (though I'll be much happier 10 pounds down). Things with Finny seem to be beginning to resolve themselves without anything scarier than tubefeeding...which is now something of the past. We still have a long ways to go with her, but it's easier now and to be honest, I'm finding raising Willem far more challenging right now than my other two put together.
So all that said, I feel like my focus is becoming not so much about losing weight but more about not gaining and just keeping healthy with exercise and a smart way of eating. I dunno, is that a bad way to look at it? I'm not trying to get out of this and I am committed to losing this last 23 and I am going to still look to WW's for a guideline, but I want to do it more organically, I guess. I want to do it in such a way that it will stay off. If I'm honest with myself, I know that I will not be able to count points for the rest of my life...and even if I could I don't want to. I know what I need to do to lose and maintain weight (like not binge, like focus on whole grains, lean meat and veggies, like allow myself treats but not let those treats become staples in my diet, like keep active) and that's what I need to do. And that's what I will do. And now that I've said it out in the open, that is what I will have to do just to prove it to myself (and you) that I can do it.
Something I realized after I posted last week...if I lose the 23 pounds in 23 weeks like a plan to, I'll bet at exactly 90 pounds down. That's pretty cool. But really, it's not about the numbers...it's more about losing this muffin top I've developed over the last couple months. So here's to losing my muffin top and hitting my 90 pound goal.
Man, am I ever glad I started this blog. It's been a wonderful source of accountability as I blunder my way through this whole healthy weight thing. Thank you for sticking with me through it all.