Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Spinning head does not a put together mom make

I should be exercising.  I NEED to be exercising.  I didn't even make a half hour of walking on the treadmill yesterday at my very slowest speed that I ever go.  I was bored and I just didn't feel like doing it.  22 minutes is better than nothing, but when your pants are tight?  Probably should be doing more.

But my head is spinning trying to be the good, informed mom that does the best for her kids.  I just talked to a lady yesterday on the phone who taught gifted kids for 8 years and is now the head of Special Education in the big city.  And can I just tell you how much of an accomplishment it was for me to just pick up the phone and dial the number?  My heart was racing, my palms were sweating.  I'm getting light headed just thinking of it.  This is my very biggest weakness, asking people I don't know for help (lets be honest, I don't ask for help well from the people I love and know and trust).  Talking to strangers period.  Very, very hard.  I'm getting better at it, but I was exhausted last night and looking back, now I know why.

She gave me some advice...including to push for his grading to done at his grade level.  Thank you very much...I knew I was right about that.  She told me that I was doing all the right things and was on the right track, which almost made me cry.  She commended me for taking Willem the private route for his counseling, for which I breathe a sigh of relief (I really wasn't sure what to do about that).  She encouraged me to put him into some martial arts, which I've been planning to do but putting off because it's so hard to juggle his younger siblings and my husband's shift work.  She told me that BC has excellent gifted programing and that my teacher should try to get her hands on that material.  So I've got the BC Ed. website open and am hoping to read through it.  (But I hate telling his teacher what to do.  I don't have a B. Ed like she does.  I'm just a mom.)  Over all, she was very encouraging and it's nice to know that I can at least make it sound like I'm doing a good job.  Except that she said that it doesn't get any easier.  It gets harder.  Oh good.

So, to conclude.  I should have exercised this morning while the kids were in school, but I did not.  I consumed almost 1000 calories of crap this morning while sitting at the computer for no good reason except that I wanted to.  My pants are tight and those things did not help this morning.  But, I am trying to stretch myself (no, not my butt, my inner self, you know) to make sure my kids get the best chance in life I can possibly provide for them even if that means calling up perfect strangers and feeling like a total knob.

And now my personal time is done.  Off to trudge through the snow to pick up the little ones...


  1. Mander, you are doing a great job! And you are not, as you say, "JUST" a mom! As a Mom you play an amazing, powerful role in your son's life. You know him and can advocate for him - no matter what the letters after anyone else's name may be.

  2. Advocating for your kids is a huge accomplishment! Don't sell yourself short, you are doing for them what no one else will do! And someday they will thank you for it. Sorry that she said it only gets harder, that would not be easy to hear. But you are strong and you WILL get through this!